Rejection

REJECTION...

It is the stated of being rejected...(answers.com)

rejection is one of the things that many people hate to feel or see...

And of course I am one of them...I really hate feeling rejected even if its not directly...


I personally experience it... to many times..

In my home, with my friends and to those who judge me without really knowing me..

Being rejected for me is like being told that your "useless" or "your incompetent", "we don't need you "or "sorry but you are not the best and we need the best".

As I mention earlier I experince it so many times that it came to a point that I nearly lose my self...well If I did not believe in God I may not be here writing this in my blog..

well my latest rejection experience is last March 27... before yesterday... I and some of my friends went to find a company that offering OJT(on the job training..)well unfortunately not one of those company choose me... I know that they have their own standard and maybe I did not reach these standarn but again like I mention earlier I still don't like being rejected even if not directly even if they said that we all qualified for the job still they choose who they think the best and I was not one of them...I felt sad for myself and happy for my friends who got accepted but then again I wish I was one on them...

I felt depress a little at that time but as the day passed I realize that they deserved it... I just need to accept those facts... because as they says try and try until you succeed. And next time I will try to do my best untill I successfully accomplished the things I want to do... and because of that experience I learned that rejection also has a positive view it can also push you to go on and try again...

.... The sea adventure....

(Hopefully picture will be added...)

The next day... my professor woke us up I don't not what time... I was really sleepy... it was because of the morning activity and the worship... well i was just walking around when a classmate of mined ask me to wake up the others for the worhship... So I did when I went back the worship is already started but I was glad that I did not miss the testimony of my classmate and my professor... It was really touching...

We ate our breakfast and went swimming...(Now as I type this Post my whole body aches...)at first we went swimming of the swimming pool then we went to the beach for some coral sight seeing(I don't know if that what you called snorkeling) well as we went to the spot to see the fishes and corals we passed a lot of jellyfish big, small , blue and white.... and finally we our there... we ask the boatman how deep it was and he replied "Mababaw lang yan..." and one of my freinds said" Mga 3 feet po ba" then the manong said"D...mga 15 feet lang..." OH my... Gosh 15 feet... I can't even swim in a 6 feet swimming pool... but then the manong assured us that it okay to swim... at first I was really afraid but excited... and when I was in the water I was more afraid but as I let go of my hold on the boat I felt proud of my self... I was afraid but I let go... It was one of my lifetime experience that I will not forget... (we were wearing life jackets..)

after that expercience we went back to the resort and went swimming of the swimming pool again... then rested, ate lunch... and prepared for the losing activity... we preformed the dances and the song number that we practices... It was a little embarrasing but fun... then finally the gift giving... well... then the giving of the classcard...I was Shock of my grade... our grades actually....
hahahha...

Then we went to the bus and started the journey back to manila... at first everyone was sleeping... then when we arrived at the pasalubong store everyone was awake... we started eating again... then as we approach our destination... Pureza... we started jamming.... singing as if we our not tired... we sing and sing and sing ... the last few song were worship songs... and It was really fun... Finally we reach Pureza... were our journey started and finished...

It was Fun... relaxing ... enjoy... and I hope that this is not the last trip that we will have...
I will be looking forward to our next outing...

....We Finally Arrived...

When we arrived my profesor separated us into different groups for room assignment... boys are seperated form the girls... the BPAG (the other section with us) is separated from us, BCSC..

I belong to the 9 girls that will share one room, and the room was really spacious It has three beds..and one bathroom...and aircon... we rested a bit and wait for the lunch... wait for our lunch...
wait for lunch... hahha.. we were really hungry but the food was not yet ready... and then finally here comes the food... hahhaha... we have shrimp and pork...

then we did a group activity to test our team work and Amazing Race.... well we already grouped ourself because of the said activity before coming in quezon... Group 1 rules... red team... hahahh... In the Amazing Race we got the second place...

some did say a little trash talk... some enjoyed... some were really tired... but I believe that everyone was happy....

then after the said activity we rested a bit and ate our dinner... after the dinner we started preparing for the Solidarity night were we will have a king and queen...(in my group I was the queen...shy...:-)). and a short presentation... but sadly we were out of time... so it was postponed... then again rested and prepared to go to the beach for the reveal yourself part...

In my point of view I think not all my classmate really revealed themselve so I'm hoping that there will be next time... hahah... I really want to know them more... We hed a Bonfire there...It was really beautiful...

after that we went night swimming...on the beach... then some of my classmate went to bed... and few of my classmate get drunk.. while I and few of my roommates stayed outside and chatting and eating.... then went to bed....

to be continue...

...Introduction....

So hot... Summer is really here... well I already had a taste of it yesterday... Our section went to Quezon and did a lot of things... hmmm.. It was really fun... this post serve as the introduction of that...

The day before that I and some of my group mates had a slept over... we finish making our t shirt...
then we slept.. we wake up at 2:45 am in my clock... It was really early.... then we toke a bath and went straight in Pureza were our bus is waiting...I was surprise that almost all my classmate was already in the bus... we were really excited...

We started our journey exactly 6:15 (according to my seatmate clock)...

And the Fun start....

Excited...

I'm really excited for our activity that will be held at Quezon...

I'm looking forward on the things that will be revealed that day 23-24 this month hahhah...

I hope that everything will be okay and exciting...

Its my first time to go to a place that far but I really don't care because I'm really really really excited I just can't wait for that day... hahah..

today, I went shopping with my friends and it was really tiring but I enjoyed it hahah... I bought a flipflops the design is a lady bug well the frog it the one who caught my attention but I don't like the color so I choose to buy the lady bug... actually I also want to buy a swimming short but unfortunately it was to short and too fitted for me... well you see I'm a bit fat... hahahhah... well I'm trying to loss some weight again unfortunately it doesn't work... but I'm not giving up someday I will have the body that I like... (someday... hope it come true..hahaha )

I think we will have a lot of activity for our first day there and the activity that I'm really looking forward too,is the amazing race... and the reveal your self part... maybe there will be a lot of people crying and I think I might be one of them... and I really hope that something interesting will be reveal about certain people that I really want to know more...Gosh I'm really really excited... we will also perform... a comedy skit... and two more skit I think... and certainly we will swim but not in the mid of the blazing sun... I hate to have a sun burn... I can't take it, its too irrating...hahha... I also hope that my classmates will bring a lot of snacks... hahahha...

but there is a sad part... my suppose to be seatmate in the bus... well I think he changed his mind about that because of what happen last time... I was really pissed because they were teasing to the maximum level.. nonstop... well I was more embarassed than pissed actually...

I'm really really really excited... Well sorry if you notice that I use the word "really" to many times... its just beacuse I'm really excited...

the end...I can't wait....

Special A...

Well If you don't know i'm a big fan of animes and manga...

I just finish watching an anime title "Special A" well actually I only watch it because I don't like to fix my room hahah... my sister is the one who really is watching it... I just thought what is that anime she is watching and I found it interesting too so I also watch it ... hahha.. I slept late that day... 3 am in the morning with my sister... just to finish that Anime well in the end the two main character fall for each other... a typical story right but the interesting part it that before they realized that they like each other they were rival.. always competing with one another... always trying to prove that the other is better than the other one.. well the guy is the one who first realized that she likes the girl... so he continue to compete with the girl to make her realized that he likes her and she likes him too... hahhaha... and that how the story goes... rivals became lovers in the end.. if your thinking that that the two of them are enemy well that not how the story goes they are just rival and not enemies..(making it clear),... I recommend it that you watch it is really fun..

and another thing I can't wait for the next chapter of Naruto and One Piece... great anime and Manga... its getting more exciting every time... and I also like to mention D.gray man...Ouran host club... Vampire night... Nodame Cantible (Live, manga and anime...)... Alice academy... Bleach... (my brother recommend).... Death note (If you haven't read it or watch it sad..,.) the Black blood brother is also good in a way... and many to mention... hahah... there are so many nice anime and manga out there but sad I think I will have less time to read them we are having OJT this summer...

Special thanks..

WOW... after this Long week... I finally finished everything I need to do... (well not really everything)...but "I" well actually it "we"(me and my smart classmate and group mates) are almost done doing everything we need to do..

So I want to say thank you to these special people because if they are not there I will end up regretting things because I did not do anything..(again!!!) Thank you for pushing me to dothings...and believing in me...

First and for most GOD...

Then my group mates,

Andrea Parrocha, thank you for being patience as always... (ha ha ha...)

Carlo Angelo Yuson..., thank you for being really annoying but funny you make me laugh everyday and also being patience (sometimes)...and again sorry for what happen last time...

Jude Mikhael Cruz,... same as Carlo... and for making our time together really interesting.. (no dull moments)..

hmmm... I also want to thank...

Justine Kate Orfilla... for giving me a chance to know God more.. I will always remember our first Lesson..."START"

Kazmira Kamille Gonocruz... for always being there...

Meane Padolina , Jasmine Chua and Jackilyn Adorable.... for the friendship..

Kate Hershey Valdemore , Jayson Perez and Victoria Aquino... I really missed you guys... hope we can go bonding after all the things we need to do...

JP, Ronald, May2x, Jhucel, Kat , Gilbert and the rest on my friend... sorry your to many to mention...

hahahha....

Everyone GOD bless... and Take Care... hahah

Nothing seem right!!!

Life is not unfair... its just that what you get is what is meant for you..



I wish for many things but all those things that I wish not one of them really came true..



Last feb. 20, 2009 my friend invited meh to a youth gathering where we can let are self to be ourself in the front of God!!!



But before the gathering I am really in a bad mood... becuase the whole day my friends are teasing me to the point that I can't no longer be patience... I also have back ache my stomach doesn't feel right ... my mom and I has another misunderstanding... in short not a really good day so, I felt really annoyed when they did not stop...



Then when we arrive at the venue at the kabayan hotel... I start to think I must not let my mood spoil this night becuase this night is reserve for GOd... SO... I decided to ignore my back ache...my stomach...my bad mood... and I prayed!!!

To my suprise when we are singing I started to cry... I just can't seem to stop so I just let my tears fall down.. and then I realize how much pain that Im really in... how much I hate my mom and myself. At that moment I really wanted to shout... I really wanted to tell everyone what I really feel but I kept it to myself and let the lord calm meh... After that moment I felt something I wish I will always feel... calmness...peace... a feeling that I cant even described... Its a good feeling that for this past few months I've been longing for... I started feeling at ease my back ache and my stomach suddenly feel better... but the way I feel about my mom doesn't really change that much but again ... I can say I don't hate her the way I hate her before... I started to understand her a little and as of now I am still in the process... I still Love my mom very much... I do... That is why I feel really irritated when she doesn't appreciate me... I love her that is why I feel this kinds of thing...

then before we the end of the event Pastor Rodel ask us to pray and tell the lord we need him.. say sorry for our sins and helps us on our daily lifes... but at that moment I did not say sorry or even forgiveness because I know I'm not ready to be forgiven... after all that I done... after all the sins that I commited I thought that I don't have the right to ask for forgiveness... So all that I said is "Lord please help me becuase I need you... I know I don't deserve your forgiveness after all that I have done yet your always there for me when I need you... And now lord again lord I'm saying that I really need you.. I need you lord... I do...I need you" ang again and again that all I said "I need you lord"... and something also enter my mind at that moment I also said something like"when the right time lord that you think I deserve forgiveness just give me a sign...but I know I still have a long way to go... but God I admit that I can't live without you... God I need you... I know I do... I need you... "

So until the end of the prayer all I did was to say "I need you lord..." We are planning to go home when Pastor Rodel remember that we have a raffle... its getting late so we were in a hurry .... the first price was a Black t-shirt with print that I forget the print... and the second one was also a T-shirt with a small print... saying "I'm Forgiven"... I don't know if that was just coincidence but my name was called... the T-shrit belongs to me... my name was written in that small sheet of paper... at that time I ask the lord is this the sign... but I'm not ready... I was a bit afraid ... if this is the sign can I lived to it... can I honestly believe in this sign... if this was the sign that you give me lord does that mean I'm forgiven???... there were so many question circling my head at that time... and suddenly... I realize maybe ... just maybe it time... this time the lord really has plan for me and maybe this time he thinks... its time...

So after the event I share this story to a friend on mine and she told me that maybe It was GOd's will ... that maybe I was really forgiven... but even though that a sign or not... I was really happy ... at that moment the feeling that I felt was really good... SO I decided to lived my life in his words... I know I have a long long way to go... I still have to endure many test... challenges.. trails... I might even think to give up in the process... but I know the LOrd God will never forsake me...

When I thought that nothing seem right... suddenly everything just fallen to the the rigth position... GOd really works in mysterious ways...

Especial thank you to:

The lord GOd and Jesus Christ..

KAzmira... Nayti and DREI...

Not summer class again...

Hmmm...

It is so frustrating that I think, and I feel that I'm going to fail in one of my subjects...

Hmmmm... I hope that I'm wrong but I really feel nervous and I don't know what to do...

I really hope that I'm wrong becuase if ever I really fail the subject i'm talking about it will be one hell of a summer...WE will have an OJT(On the job training) and we are going to develope our system for our thesis.. so in ever I really failed I don't know if my brain and body can keep up of my tight schedule...(if ever I failed)..(Hope not..)

I hate thinking of this but what can I do is all my fault... I did not study hard... I did not take the subject seriously and now I'm complaining... Stupid meh..(right???)... Anyways I just want to let go of my frustration... just wish me luck... I really don't like to attend a summer class again...

Trails...Hopes...and many more...

Hi this is my first post for my 1st blog...

trails.... I have a lot of that... hahah....

my schedule are very hectic yet here I am making my blog... well this the only way I can speak my mind even just a little...

I'm not really good in speaking english... so be patience with meh... HAHAHa...

Ok, let see I have this emotional thing... depression... I can't seem to get rid of that feeling especially when my mom always say things like I'm stupid and many more... and also becuase I feel like I'm just a burden to my friends because of my lack of ability in programming!!!

Yeah... I'm taking up programming yet I'm not that good in it not because i'm dumb or anything I'm just a little caught up in on other things... hahha... actually I'm good at programming but not that good... (Its up to you how u interpret that)

hmmm... ok next topic my hopes... I hope to passed my subject this sem. and find a job for my OJT (hopefully with allownce...) last but not the least to close or finish all the issues that I have with some of my friends becuase it seem that "a friend " of mine does not really my friend anymore...we had this big fight and that cost us a lot... we don't speak to each other the way we use too... we don't look at each other eyes(well she doesn't ... so why do i need to bother looking at her ryt???)well that just my observation... but I do miss her... our closeness and being able to comfort each other like we are sister.... I hope someday that the wound that we create in each other heart will heal...

ok that for now... hahha